As I begin to look towards what lies ahead, I am grateful for the darkest of days that I have experienced. The dark days taught me to look deeper inside and sit still to feel every pain and emotion. To learn to sit in the unknown and be patient. Patient and quiet like I have never been before. I close my eyes listening to every sound, soaking up every image, holding onto each emotion good or bad to sear them in my mind so I will not forget.
I feel as though I have been here before but things are different this time, very different… This time it is me that has to wait and look inward. There is zero control and that is freeing and scary all wrapped into one package. The sense of calm takes over and I know some are wondering if I am losing my mind as they say they would never be this calm. Yet, I know exactly where I am, a place I never imagined I would be… the UNKNOWN. There are no easy answers or quick fixes from doctors or friends or family for any of this. It’s just me crawling, slowing walking and yes sometimes dancing through this time. Listening to the stories along the road, stories that no one really wants to share or hear. Feeling the pain with tears flowing, watching the heartache while knowing that in the darkest of times is where we grow the most so I must continue to go on this journey, the road no one wants to travel. Traveling on this road is where we are given the gift of seeing the deepest parts of one another so I must go.
At night a million dreams are coming to me. Dreams that I have wished for and planned for over many years .….. Things that have been talked about and started but not quite finished. You know the dreams to make this world different for every little girl and woman. Dreams of bridging the gap in our healthcare system between patient and provider. Keeping the dream alive of continuing to create a patient and provider organization that others said wouldn’t happen. Those dreams are becoming a reality with the help of others like me, DREAMERS. Women all over the world are begging and pleading for things to change. We want to see the world change and we will dream it into being. So, as I close my eyes and hold the hands of the ones around me I know that our dreams will become a reality because the world is waiting for us to design the world that is desperately needed.
XOXO,
Brandy
