Over the last few years I have focused on others quite a bit. I have had friends and my board members constantly reminding me to slow down, breathe, and focus a bit on myself. After my recent trip to Sewanee, I was reminded of how short life is. As I said in my last blog post, I have thought a lot about missed opportunities. I have also thought about relationships………
So today, I wanted to share with women with epilepsy and women in general about relationships. As women, we try to help and take care of so many people but leave ourselves for last. We try to be the good daughter, wife, mother, and friend yet we put ourselves at the bottom of the list. We tend to give and give without getting anything in return. Lets be honest, having 3 young children is hard! One child that has autism, and the other two children are full of life. They are children and they require every ounce of my attention because that is what mothers do for their children. The days of driving them to school, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, making lunches, etc for them can be exhausting. Yet, at night when I snuggle with my three precious children I am able to say that I am blessed to have them. I am blessed to be able to take care of them. Then on the other hand, we have the other people in our lives that are down right draining! These are relationships with adults that are not healthy. They drain us to the core. I know that I have personally been in this type of relationship. We tend to hang onto this relationship out of duty, doing the right thing, or just trying to help the person. The reality is that we cannot help people unless we are healthy ourselves. Sometimes, we have to let go of those relationships and realize that the person is not good for us. We have to be honest and realize that we are worth more than those relationships. I would encourage each of you to surround yourself with relationships that are honest and encouraging ones.
I spoke with one of my best friends from childhood the other day. Jennifer and I don’t get to talk as much as we would like but when we talk it is as if time has not passed. Let me give you a little background on her, she is the opposite of me in so many ways yet she makes me strive to be the best I can be especially for my children. She reminds me that I can overcome a lot of things in my life. She challenges me on topics that I may not want to be challenged on. She reminds me that I need to laugh. Jennifer is one of those honest and encouraging friends that everyone needs to have. I am also thankful for my friend Penny. Penny and I share the struggles of raising a child that requires extra help. I hate the term “special needs” so I won’t use it here! Penny feels my pain when I cry for Samuel and I feel the same pain as she cries for Harper. We remind each other that our children are changing things for others. Penny is also like Jennifer, she is honest and encouraging. She wants what is best for me and tells me when I need to get in line! I am also blessed to have my friend Heather. Heather has watched me start this organization and encouraged me along the way. We have watched each other struggle as we try to find answers for our children and which direction to take for their healthcare.
I also have 5 AMAZING women that sit on my board for the organization. Each one of them has encouraged me in different areas of my life. I know that when I am in Nashville and need to talk about the organization or just life in general I get to spend time with Lauren. When I need to escape the craziness of life I am able to head to New York to see Cynthia, Atlanta to see Melanee, and of course I get to head to my home state of Louisiana to see Kay. I am blessed that I get to share in their lives but also that they get to share in my life. They give me advice from a medical perspective but also from a friendship perspective. These are the relationships that have been built from a strong bond of friendship.
I have been examining my relationships and realized that some need to go. These relationships are not good for me, so they need to end. I am not saying that I will never talk to this person and be rude but they need to not be apart of my daily life. I do not need the added stress of these bad relationships. Don’t get me wrong, all relationships have stress but the unhealthy stress is what I am talking about. I would encourage each of you to look at your lives and see what relationships are dragging you down and which ones have you outgrown. As we get older and things in life change we change our relationships….we evolve into the person we were meant to be. Sometimes and often a lot of times, our old relationships do not match to where we are in the present. Don’t be afraid to be who you are and live life to the fullest. I want to encourage each of you to take care of yourself so that you can help take care of others. We are going to be building a program to encourage women to take care of themselves so be on the look out for the EXCITING things that will be coming! Have a great day and I look forward to seeing healthy and encouraging friendships that will grow over the next year, 6 years, 16 years, 26 years and beyond with you!
Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find. -William Shakespeare
