Reflection…..

Tonight as reflect on the things of the past week my heart is filled with joy and sadness….Joy as Samuel climbed a tree and sadness as I sat with parents in a support group for children that have epilepsy. Some of these children will never climb a tree, walk, or speak.  I began attending this support group for parents in the early part of this year to help them see someone who has epilepsy as an adult.  We have connected because of my epilepsy and Samuel.  Their children are taking antiepileptic medication which affects their development and Samuel was exposed to the antiepileptic medication while I was pregnant with him.

The topic of last week was mental health issues related to people with epilepsy.  I could go on and on about my personal issue with associating “mental health” and epilepsy but I will spare everyone.  It was a very productive meeting with one of the doctors from the local hospital offering her professional insight to the parents.  As I watched and listened to the questions that the parents asked my heart was aching for them.  They wanted every bit of information from this doctor that they could soak up in the time that she was there.  It reminded me of when I sit in front of Samuel’s language therapist and hold on to her every word, thinking that I need to soak up every moment I have with her.  I want to hear about children that she has worked with in the past and where they are now.  As parents we are all the same, we are just wanting our children to keep progressing and live to their full potential.  One of the things I shared with the group was the guilt that I live with of taking my antiepileptic medication to have my epilepsy not affect me on a daily basis only to have it now affect my son on a daily basis.  I told them that I wanted them to know that they did nothing to cause their child to have epilepsy.  Several of the mothers said that they do think about what they might have done to cause this….

Each of us are being impacted by epilepsy everyday just in different ways….yet I sit there offering hope to them that maybe they will find the right medication and their child will be seizure free.  We are all just hoping for a cure in the end…..